Beautiful truth as always, my friend. I think the inability to carry another's grief is very much a Western culture deal, and it sucks. And, you're right--we've all been on both sides of it. I too vowed long ago to never again offer platitudes or unsolicited advice. And, after my brother died & I didn't "want a shot" or to go drink to ease my pain, I stopped hearing from a LOT of "friends." I realized they weren't my people, but I also let them off the hook--they just had no idea how to deal with my deeply broken heart.